The Dearly Departed

It was Friday afternoon and the executive's office had already been swept clean. Every item of furniture and every scrap of paper had been removed. The executive had been sacked, and because of this company decision there would be no remaining trace he was ever there. I'm surprised they didn't call in an exorcist.

By the way, this was not the Disney Company in case you're wondering. However, I've seen many an employee of the mouse house leave in every way imaginable. I've seen people drive out of the parking lot ecstatic. They were happy to finally be free. On the other hand, I've seen security drag people out as they screamed bloody murder. And finally, some were so distraught after losing their job they went home and took their own life. I can honestly say I loved my job at the Disney Company but there was no way in hell I'd ever consider putting a gun to my head over losing a stupid job.

I confess I miss the old fashion way of losing one's job. Some years ago, I was sacked at a major animation studio. My bosses called me in and told me it was not necessary to stay until the end of the work week. They wanted me out and the sooner the better. I honestly miss the old way of getting booted out. I miss the angry boss screaming in Saturday Morning cartoon style, “Jetson! You're fired!” Today, you'd simply report to Human Resources where an attractive young person would walk you through an “Exit Interview” from a prepared script. And yes, I know all about HR. A family member worked in Human Resources for many years so I know the drill.

Last week, I drew a cartoon that was inspired by another departing Disney cartoon maker. As usual, the departure was amicable and no ill feelings were expressed. It was the usual “love fest” where only good things were said about the company and the employee. This is necessary, of course. In today's world the magic word is litigation, and it's something no company wants to deal with. That means departing employees are “loved to death” as they depart. It's silly, of course because these releases aren't fooling anybody. It's the usual bogus world we've all come to live in, isn't it?

Luckily, I didn't have a press release when I was sacked from the mouse house back in the seventies. And, had I decided to say anything it would have been a lovely, glowing report because I truly like the Walt Disney Company. It's a company that has truly been a positive part of my life. And, that even includes the “knuckle heads” who sometimes run the place.